I find myself thinking of all the things in my life that mean so much to me. I hurt a good part of the time, my feet are swollen and my darling husband is becoming more dependent on me as time goes by. So... to compensate, I either read my book, play Pogo games or think of times gone by. Daydreaming has become a favorite past time. I am not at all sure I favor this particular past time. I think it might lead me into something far more dangerous. I just might lose control and slip into a bygone era and never come back. Why do I say dangerous? Dangerous in that I might like it in Neverland and not want to come back. Because if I take myself elsewhere and never return look at all the things I would be missing in the Present. Maybe, just maybe, someone here might miss Me. I enjoy visiting all of those pleasant memories. I do believe that some memories have become more pleasant with the passage of time. I doubt that some of them were as pleasant then as they seem now. Besides, they are my memories and I can juxtapose them to suit my current frame of mind. A mind set that is constantly changing depending on the current state of affairs in my corner of the world.
The Christmas holidays have always been a bit of a pain for me. As a child I was showered with gifts and good will. As I grew older, the good will was a strain in our household. My parents divorced and I felt abandoned. My dad had custody, my mom was doing her "thing" and my sister and I were left in a sort of limbo. One Christmas I was very ill and the only shinning star that year was my boyfriend who was very attentive even with me sick in bed. He later abandoned me.... but that is another story, already told.
Christmas with my kids. Now, there is a story yet to be told. I was in hospital the Christmas before they were born, miserable and alone. They came on the New Year and brought joy and peace to my heart.
Anyway, again I have escaped to past Memories and feel better for it. I hope my leaving the Present does not get out of hand. I can only wish to make more memories.
Happy Birthday to my children. Number 42 and may you have many more!
Happy New Year Y'all!
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